Now music is one of those things that people share instinctively with others, when they hear a nice song they send it to friends. They play them in cars, send Spotify playlists and it builds and grows relationships between friends, family and couples everywhere. However I don’t, and there’s a lot of really weird reasons why.
THEY’RE SUPER PERSONAL TO ME
I know all music and expression of self is personal but some songs have a link to some parts of my life that I don’t think I’d ever share with just anyone, even close friends. The songs aren’t even in English or have words, but because they bring back either happy or sad memories I’d rather not have other people be a part of me listening to the song.
So like every other person who listens to music it’s more than just the song, it’s about how it makes me feel. Or the memories associated with the song, and I basically use music as a mental health mechanism – in easier terms, it’s my act of self-care.
SOME OF THEM ARE COMPLETE TRASH
Honestly, if I had a gun to my head, I have to admit that a lot of my music is super trashy. Like on a level that would induce every level of embarrassment, and a lot of these songs are ones I play frequently and happily.
To explain this further, it’s the kind of trash you’d have to be around people you are comfortable around to sing during Karaoke. Or the songs you wish you could play, but you would get ridiculed for even suggesting it unless you were in a safe space.
I AM A SENSITIVE SOUL
My close friends are probably the ones who can vouch for this, but my hard exterior is utter nonsense and I am quite a sensitive soul. So if I was to recommend a song that was close to my heart and the other person dissed it, I would probably have an internal meltdown and remember that for the rest of my life.
Maybe one day I’ll confidently embrace my music tastes and share them with the world, but today is not that day. It doesn’t help that I have happily stayed in my hole of music for my whole life. Yes, I listen to a variety but it’s hard for me personally to stay up to date or even care to listen to the latest releases. I am basically lazy and will find the songs eventually.
All images are taken from unsplash.