Trying and Failing to Quit Chocolate (51/365)

When I started getting migraines I was told to look out for common triggers, so I examined the effects of different types of food and gauged whether they would trigger me. I did all sorts of weird eliminations and tried to incorporate more water in my diet, but at the time I never thought chocolate would be a major factor.

I spoke to my doctor after my fifth round of meds about common triggers and when he suggested chocolate my heart dropped. I was a chocoholic, I had it multiple times every day. I couldn’t imagine a world where I couldn’t eat it, I didn’t even use period cravings as an excuse to binge on chocolate – it was my state of being.

I did a few tests on my good days to see if chocolate was a trigger and most of the times they brought on intense migraines, so I knew I had to stop. There was one problem though, I was addicted to chocolate. Every single time I tried to avoid it, I would end up sneaking some in and experience the horrific side effects.

During this time I ended up working in an office environment for the first time and I naively thought this would make things easier. I was wrong, in offices, people tend to bring in snacks and nine times out of ten those snacks are laced in chocolate. In an ideal world, I would be able to say no, but I’m Somali, saying no to free food is not in my DNA.

I could tell people that chocolate is a migraine trigger, but the conversation is super awkward and honestly, it’s annoying to deal with. I have in some cases where I knew chocolate would fuck me up, but apart from that I either decline the treats or eat and take the risk of being violently attacked by my brain.

To this day I still struggle to quit chocolate, so I’ve just accepted that I’m going to have to start small and not have it as frequently as I used to and to be honest, I have cut down a lot. Just not enough, so it’s a consistent struggle. #firstworldproblems

Images are from Unsplash.

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