When you get to a certain age you start to realise that not everyone is a nice person, even if they seem lovely when you interact with them they can hide their true selves fairly easily. Since adult life involves a lot of small talk and showing specific pieces of yourself, it’s truly hard to fully gauge someone until you’ve committed to spending actual time with them outside of work/school, and by then it might be too late.
So naturally we find ways to suss them out, because time waits for no man, and honestly it’s annoying to waste time on someone when you could have been doing better things like eating or sleeping. So I have a few ways of figuring people out, and honestly it’s not even difficult to do.
Pay attention to how they treat waiters/waitresses
I don’t care how long you’ve waited for your food, if someone disrespects a waiter/waitress in front of you, you need to call them out. Their jobs aren’t easy and people aren’t nice, so the least you can do is treat them with the kindness they deserve because none of them get paid enough for this shit.
If a conversation around homelessness involves ‘why don’t they just find a job’ run away
Sometimes people are just ignorant to the struggles around them, and sometimes they’re just a prick, but when it comes to homelessness this kind of behaviour is not acceptable. Homelessness doesn’t just happen, and honestly if they have no home I doubt they have the documents required to just ‘find a job’, so it’s not that simple. Shelters cost money, food costs money, getting your birth certificate costs money – so when people make this comment it really grinds my gears.
Their response to issues like social justice/feminism is super important
Look, it’s 2019, there’s no excuse for ignorance when it comes to the importance of social justice and feminist movements. Society is built on inequality, and saying things like ‘it’s not needed’ is just idiotic. We exist in a digital age, there’s no excuse to not know this shit.
When they spend a lot of time badmouthing someone
We all love a little gossip session, but if the person spends all their time badmouthing everyone and never having a positive thing to say, then you need to proceed with caution. Not only is there a risk of them being a soul sucking individual, but there’s a risk of them being a general snake so if you make the mistake of trusting them that might screw you over.
If they’re self absorbed, run away
When someone is self absorbed they act as if they’re the sun and the world orbits around them. They’ll spend 99% of the time talking about themselves and only ever spend time with you to either boast or continue their monologue about themselves. In most cases it’s easier to just get rid of them because they can be mentally draining and it’s not worth it.