I’m just going to start this post by saying that I’m not old, I don’t even feel old, but my younger siblings rip me to filth due to my age so some times I do feel a bit old, which doesn’t make sense since I’m only 25. I do turn 26 in 11 days hence why I’m even writing a post about the ageing process because when birthdays come a long everyone reminds you that you’re one year closer to dying – people are kind of morbind.
So my personal thoughts about getting older aren’t really that deep at the moment, I’m in my mid-twenties so I know my focuses are more career and life progression focused and honestly my twenties have been a mess when it comes to those things. I’ve already tried multiple different career paths, and not everything is working out as I planned a decade ago, and I’m learning to be ok with that. One of the worst things you can do is compare yourself to people in your age group, because that just leads to unecessary sadness and who needs useless feelings that won’t add to anything.
I’m not a particularly competitive person when it comes to a lot of things so comparing myself to others just won’t help. Plus we all have different goals and want to acheive different things – some people want to get married and have kids, and that’s perfectly fine. I can’t watch those people and feel sad about my single ass because marriage and kids have never been on my radar, so there’s no point letting societies expectations for women my age hit me.
I remember being asked how I saw myself in 10 years, back when I was 14 and I said “in between jobs” with confidence, which is kind of scary when I think back to how I’d spontanteously left a hostile work environment the day before my 24th birthday, and was in fact inbetween jobs for 2 months. Maybe I just knew my path wouldn’t be clear, maybe my emo phase cursed how I see my future – but there must be some power in speaking your thoughts into existence to an extent.
This has taken a weird tangent, so I’ll get back to the ‘getting old’ thing. So I’ll be entering my 26th year of life soon and weirdly enough I’m ok with how life is going – which is something I couldn’t say with confidence a few years ago. I had my quarter life crisis years ago, thanks to a lot of personal crap, so I’d already wrestled with how life is going and how this makes me feel anxious. I came to terms with the fact that I’d have to take what life gave me, and go with the flow to an extent, as well as pave my own path.
I learned not to be too hard on myself as it doesn’t add to anything. I don’t get driven by breaking myself, so it wouldn’t acheive anything. I just need to set private goals and do whatever I can do get them done – like this blog for example. My goal was simply to get back into writing, I didn’t plan to promote it heavily or even get a few readers, I just wanted to do something I enjoy. I will say – I’m never doing a daily project again, it’s exhausting.
I always say to people that with every year I’m becoming a walking catfish because I don’t look my age. I’m turining 26 and I just about look 21 (maybe younger) which is great in terms of the future, but for right now it can be a bit annoying as it does effect how seriously people take you in the work force and even in your daily life.
I’d say if anyones reading this and feeling anxious about ageing – it’s fine, but don’t beat yourself too much about it. It’s easier said than done, but honestly try to treat yourself the way you treat the people you love. You’d never say horrible things to them, so why do it to yourself?