Double standards are really annoying, most of them have no basis and are tied to old school and archaic rules that no one follows in our modern day society – yet we’re still held to them and honestly it doesn’t make sense. There’s loads of different double standards that we have to deal with, and as much as I’d love to argue with everyone who tries to impose them, I don’t have the mental energy or time to do it, so instead I’m going to rant about it here. 🙂
So the easiest one to start with is the gender double standards. In ethnic families, girls are raised to cook and clean whilst boys are allowed to run around and do the bare minimum. When we speak up about it we’re confront with the argument that girls should clean, and cook and boys will be boys. For a lot of girls, getting taken seriously is a battle in itself and they end up having to go through a lot of arguments to even have a curfew extension let alone anything else.
I understand the world is a dangerous place, so a curfew isn’t bad, but the world is dangerous for all of us so girls shouldn’t be the only victims of policing their time. As well as this, when girls reach a certain age, they really shouldn’t have a curfew – I’ve always found it weird that some parents still enforce it after they’re 18, and honestly, it’s weird. Especially as a Somali, my parents left the country without their parents at this age, so they can’t try to police my actions when they were essentially left to their own devices.
There’s also that lovely double standard about past partners. Girls who have more than one are seen as sluts, whereas men with multiple past partners are seen as kings and honestly it’s disgusting. Either shame both, or shame no one. I remember one of my friends was flirting with a guy, and he asked her if she was also talking to anyone else at the time. Naturally she was, and she admitted it, and he shamed her despite also speaking to multiple people at the time. He then went on to describe men as the hunters and women as the prey and honestly it was a disgusting analogy that sort of describes that double standards stupidity in a nut shell.
Another lovely double standard is about emotions – men who show emotions or any form of feminine traits are immediately seen as weak. Whereas women who adopt masculine traits are seen as stronger, and honestly this one gets me. Part of it is because society looks down on femininity so much that it has every gender hating it, and a reason why this double standard is dangerous is because it leads to generations of men growing up without emotional intelligence, self worth or respect for women/feminine traits.
Which then leads to all the shitty things that happen to them as a whole as men have the burden of having to be strong 24/7, they can’t cry, process trauma, or deal with anything and honestly thats the scary part.Its why there’s so many men out there with untreated mental health issues, it’s also why their suicide rates are alarmingly high.
Now the race paragraph – it’s going to be short because I am always emotionally drained after writing about race – we’re going to talk about why black people are seen as aggressive whenever we do anything that isn’t too passive. A white person can demand to see a manager, lead a meeting, tell someone off and still be seen as logical. If a black person tried even half of that, we’re seen as aggressive and offensive and honestly it’s tiring. We learn in our early years that we have to be 200000% more passive in order to asimilate in society and honestly it’s bullshit.
We need to stop treating everyone so damn differently, we need to give everyone the same oppurtunities whether it’s social, structural, emotional or physical. Everyone needs to also be held accountable to the same extent if they partake in the same actions.