I Don’t Really Plan Ahead, But Maybe I Should Start (295/365)

Another day another idea given to me on Instagram, this writers block is a real issue and I don’t see the point in pretending it isn’t happening. So I asked and people gave me brilliant ideas, the one I’ve selected today is about my future plans, and how I don’t really have any because I’m a weirdo – no really I actually am when it comes to this.

I feel like your twenties is the time for building your future and really driving your life towards all the plans you supposedly made in your teenage years, but here’s the thing, for some bizarre (not so bizarre) reason I genuinely didn’t think I’d make it past 20. Whether it was due to my oh so bad mental health or my general clumsiness, I just figured I wouldn’t last that long, so when I did survive my 20th birthday I was shook. Which is probably also why I didn’t make any proper plans as:

  • I didn’t want to get married
  • I didn’t want to have children
  • I had no interest in pursuing a romantic relationship
  • I had no idea what I actually wanted to do as a career

I guess the last ones a mini lie, I did want to get into writing but I made no actions to pursue the field, so maybe I liked the idea of being a writer more than being one – the irony of running this blog and and making that statement is not lost on me.

So since a lot of the goals people build their lives around had no interest to me, and the one thing I should have been focusing on was a haze I was very lost and genuinely didn’t know what to do with myself. So I adopted a weird ‘wing it’ mentality where I thought ‘what’s the worst that could happen?’.

Well here’s some interesting career paths I suffered as a result:

  • I ended up in an unpaid internship where it was run by a disgusting pervert and not only was I writing in almost every genre, they somehow scammed me into doing a podcast, a talk for a BBC event and interviewing a red carpet for free. They basically used me and others as slave labour with the drug of opportunity and we sipped that sour cool aid.
  • I wrote for another magazine that was run by a communist lunatic and I have a whole post which states how crazy he really was.. I didn’t last there very long as calling people who practice religion as blind or slaves is really something I can’t stand by – he said this openly in a bloody meeting as well.
  • I ended up in a pyramid scheme door to door sales cult which was run by an abusive, disgusting misogynistic pervert and the whole atmosphere promoted bullying, isolation and every abusive tactic in the book.

So, when you ask whats the worst that could happen, really take into account what that means because honestly I ended up in a loop of working for crazy people and not one of these paths helped me find any purpose. So now I kind of have a plan but a lot of it is really personal and honestly I don’t want to write too much about it as I’m a suspicious fuck who feels like saying it on the internet will jinx it.

What I can say is that I’m pretty much up for trying more things and creative projects, hence this blog, the podcast I’m with my best friends and it’s been a blast. I’m making plans in other aspects of my life and really want to spend the next few years building a future and not wanting to have any regrets.

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