You know when it happens, when you get a call, a text or any conversation about an up and coming plan with someone you care about, you guys discuss it and make plans and then it happens. The news you didn’t want to hear or acknowledge… the only reason you were considered is because someone dropped out. Now, I know there are many innocent scenarios where this can happen and to be perfectly honest I’ve also done this to people, but there’s a difference between an occasional occurrence and a habit.
Usually it involves the other person being very upfront about their plans, and how someone dropped out, and in those cases it’s perfectly fine. It’s understandable and you can enjoy the plan, but when you’re a backup plan it’s very different. It’s being contacts about the event and many different plans every single time someone has cancelled on one specific person. It hurts a little bit more when you know you’ll only see them through their flakey friends consistent cancellations, as the only time you’re considered is when this happens.
You can tell this comes from a pretty personal place, and I have no need to really expand on it as I’m already unleashing my needy side. The thing is, sometimes we all want to be more than just a backup plan, and this need isn’t with everyone. Personally my emotional needs don’t extend past a few people in my life, but those people, I will unleash the beast on, in a very healthy(ish) conversation. Since being someones constant backup plan can hurt like a mother trucker and it’s not fair on you to be in that position.
The initial excitement of any plan made becomes tainted and it just leaves you feeling sad, and I am always a promoter of people communicating their feelings and emotions when it matters, whether I practice this as often as I preach it is highly debatable as the conversation is never easy to have, but it’s a necessity.
If this is a pattern after the conversation then just put your foot down. Don’t be someones back up plan, you always deserve better and more consideration. You wouldn’t let yourself be a side man/side chick without being aware, so why be a backup plan?