Goodbye 2019, it’s really weird to say farewell to not only this year, but this whole decade and it’s honestly been a wild ride. Not only does this mark the end of my daily blogging ventures, but it’s the beginning of many other things in the works. I can’t believe we’re here, this year has both gone ridiculously fast, but also really slowly at the same time.. although that might be because I’ve written many of these posts last minute and that has made every day tangible to me (if that makes any sense).
The year started off with a shit load of anxiety, I was worried about work contracts, realising some subtly racist reasons that I was even in that position. I’ve essentially worked three different jobs.. maybe four if you count a department I supported whilst doing two of those jobs and every job was wildly different. I didn’t really have a lot of long term career thoughts for a lot of the year, especially as I was in an angency that had no path I could take without licking a racist arsehole – so I found an alternative and it’s been good so far.
I’m definitely in a better place now than I was this time last year, I was even talking to my cousin about it all and it’s mad how a year can change things – Yes I’m aware how digustingly cliche’d that whole sentence was, but it’s my last post of the year so please allow me to throw them in as it’s the only time I’m actually allowed to.
Writing this blog was a very conscious decision I made to help me get back into writing and give me an outlet whenever my mental health was waning.. which happens a lot. I realised what happens when I don’t have healthy outlets and that was 2018 in a nutshell, I partied too hard, cried too hard and was generally surrounding myself around weird crowds and even people who took pleasure in my vulnerably angry state. So this year I decided to change that and I’ll go into the next decade with that same energy. As much as I enjoy socialising, I’ll keep it with the right people, as not everyone is worth your time and you really need to go with your gut in most cases.
This year marked many beginnings in my career and personally as I had the privelege of starting a podcast with two of my best friends and it’s been regular and fun to do. It may never reach a million hits, but in all honesty it’s a lot of fun to do and we went in with very pure intentions and a willingness to learn about the technical side of things when it comes to set ups and equipment.
I also started going to the gym at some point which was honestly something I never saw myself doing and although it was fun, I had to take a pause as my brain started to do the thing where it punishes you for not going enough or eating right or seeing results. I’ll probably go back at some point, but I’m not willing to slip into unhealthy habits just to lose a few pounds.. it’s not worth it in my case.
I’ve learnt a few things this year as well, and although I’ve written them down I might as well write them again because it’s my blog and I can do whatever I want:
- Don’t spend time with people outside of work if they give you a bad gut feeling.
- Don’t always talk about racism around white people, they can’t always handle it and it’s not worth dealing with their emotions.
- Spend time with people you truly love.
- Tell those people that you actually love them.
- Instead of saying you’ll do something, actually do the thing!
- It says a lot about someone if they’re not happy about you when you’re succeeding.
- Not everyones crazy compliments one another.
- Don’t spontaneously decide to live with someone when it’s a dodgy situation and your gut feeling is bad.
- Also, don’t do it if everyone you know is telling you not to do it!
- If your friends don’t like someone (a friend/partner) it might be worth evaluating why they don’t like them.
- Some friendships end and that’s ok.
- Sometimes you have say how you’re feeling, you can’t always let it bubble up.
- If someone judges you about your movie/music/tv taste don’t bother with them, they’re a pretentious twat.
- Not all arguments are worth having, but some are!
- Don’t go out with your work colleagues when you’re in the dark place.
- When you give out your last fuck over a situation, you’re a dangerous specimen… choose your actions wisely.
- It never hurts to be a little petty about things, because some things are worth bringing petty energy into.
There’s probably more to write about what I’ve learnt but that would enter a realm of revealing personal things about me that I don’t feel comfortable including. 🙂
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I still can’t believe we’ve made it this far in this daily blogging journey. That doesn’t mean this blog will cease to exist, I’ll just be posting less frequently and might actually have time to edit it all.
Happy new years and let’s go into the next decade with a more focused, positive and healthy mindset!