Goodbye 2019 – My Last Post In This Daily Blog Project (365/365)

Goodbye 2019, it’s really weird to say farewell to not only this year, but this whole decade and it’s honestly been a wild ride. Not only does this mark the end of my daily blogging ventures, but it’s the beginning of many other things in the works. I can’t believe we’re here, this year has both gone ridiculously fast, but also really slowly at the same time.. although that might be because I’ve written many of these posts last minute and that has made every day tangible to me (if that makes any sense).

The year started off with a shit load of anxiety, I was worried about work contracts, realising some subtly racist reasons that I was even in that position. I’ve essentially worked three different jobs.. maybe four if you count a department I supported whilst doing two of those jobs and every job was wildly different. I didn’t really have a lot of long term career thoughts for a lot of the year, especially as I was in an angency that had no path I could take without licking a racist arsehole – so I found an alternative and it’s been good so far.

I’m definitely in a better place now than I was this time last year, I was even talking to my cousin about it all and it’s mad how a year can change things – Yes I’m aware how digustingly cliche’d that whole sentence was, but it’s my last post of the year so please allow me to throw them in as it’s the only time I’m actually allowed to.

Writing this blog was a very conscious decision I made to help me get back into writing and give me an outlet whenever my mental health was waning.. which happens a lot. I realised what happens when I don’t have healthy outlets and that was 2018 in a nutshell, I partied too hard, cried too hard and was generally surrounding myself around weird crowds and even people who took pleasure in my vulnerably angry state. So this year I decided to change that and I’ll go into the next decade with that same energy. As much as I enjoy socialising, I’ll keep it with the right people, as not everyone is worth your time and you really need to go with your gut in most cases.

This year marked many beginnings in my career and personally as I had the privelege of starting a podcast with two of my best friends and it’s been regular and fun to do. It may never reach a million hits, but in all honesty it’s a lot of fun to do and we went in with very pure intentions and a willingness to learn about the technical side of things when it comes to set ups and equipment.

I also started going to the gym at some point which was honestly something I never saw myself doing and although it was fun, I had to take a pause as my brain started to do the thing where it punishes you for not going enough or eating right or seeing results. I’ll probably go back at some point, but I’m not willing to slip into unhealthy habits just to lose a few pounds.. it’s not worth it in my case.

I’ve learnt a few things this year as well, and although I’ve written them down I might as well write them again because it’s my blog and I can do whatever I want:

  1. Don’t spend time with people outside of work if they give you a bad gut feeling.
  2. Don’t always talk about racism around white people, they can’t always handle it and it’s not worth dealing with their emotions.
  3. Spend time with people you truly love.
  4. Tell those people that you actually love them.
  5. Instead of saying you’ll do something, actually do the thing!
  6. It says a lot about someone if they’re not happy about you when you’re succeeding.
  7. Not everyones crazy compliments one another.
  8. Don’t spontaneously decide to live with someone when it’s a dodgy situation and your gut feeling is bad.
  9. Also, don’t do it if everyone you know is telling you not to do it!
  10. If your friends don’t like someone (a friend/partner) it might be worth evaluating why they don’t like them.
  11. Some friendships end and that’s ok.
  12. Sometimes you have say how you’re feeling, you can’t always let it bubble up.
  13. If someone judges you about your movie/music/tv taste don’t bother with them, they’re a pretentious twat.
  14. Not all arguments are worth having, but some are!
  15. Don’t go out with your work colleagues when you’re in the dark place.
  16. When you give out your last fuck over a situation, you’re a dangerous specimen… choose your actions wisely.
  17. It never hurts to be a little petty about things, because some things are worth bringing petty energy into.

There’s probably more to write about what I’ve learnt but that would enter a realm of revealing personal things about me that I don’t feel comfortable including. 🙂

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I still can’t believe we’ve made it this far in this daily blogging journey. That doesn’t mean this blog will cease to exist, I’ll just be posting less frequently and might actually have time to edit it all.

Happy new years and let’s go into the next decade with a more focused, positive and healthy mindset!

Image result for new year anime meme 2020

20 Things We're Not Bringing Into 2020 (356/365)

We’re keeping up the generic new years resolution theme to end this year of daily blogging because honestly I want to write about it, and it’s a lot easier than accessing my brain and trying to bring out the smarter side of it. It has switched off for the year and I’m not sure how to bring it back, so for now let’s discuss what kind of energy and behaviour we’re not going to bring into the new year.

  1. Justifying racism in any way shape or form.
  2. Not taking our mental health seriously.
  3. Going to bed in a face full of makeup.
  4. Not sharing our best makeup and skin care tips – I’M LOOKING AT YOU MEN WITH FLAWLESS SKIN, YOU DON’T EVEN DESERVE IT.
  5. Uneccessary pettiness, look if I don’t know why you’re being petty, it defeats the purpose of the act.
  6. Not helping each other grow as well developed humans.
  7. Black people hating on each other, this behaviour has always confused me and we need to stop doing it. We’re just making things worse for ourselves and honestly it’s embarasing.
  8. Beauty hair bloggers going natural for a few months and then going back to using relaxer for views – look, if you’re being genuine do whatever the fuck you want to your hair, but some people are honestly just doing this shit for views and it’s making it look difficult to maintain natural hair when it’s really not.
  9. Every stupid makeup trend, let’s just try to look amazing and do what we want. No more using cutlery, ashy foundation or anything that you’re doing for the clout. Makeup is supposed to be fun, have fun with it.
  10. Supporting bigots… put that shit in the bin and stop doing it.
  11. Expecting people of colour to be calm in our outrage, We’re sick of the racism and discrimination so we shouldn’t have to also be polite when people are literally dying.
  12. Looking down on people because of their music taste. Music is literally noise, put your pretentious thoughts in meat grinder please.
  13. Anyone who still argues against Trans rights… wtf is wrong with you, shut up. Don’t even bring religion into it because no religion advocates death, they advocate respecting one another and not fucking killing people. (I swear if you use the word jihad I’ll slap you, jihad isn’t about senseless murder and greater jihad ISN’T EVEN VIOLENT).
  14. Assuming you’re the smartest person in the room, sorry you’re not and you have to accept that and move on.
  15. Letting people walk all over us, it’s time to walk all over them (or something nicer).
  16. Criticisng anyone for not being married or having children… allow them and let them live!
  17. Women hating on other women for existing… put that shit away. Other women aren’t a threat to your womanhood and if you honestly hold these beliefs you need to sort out your internalised hatred towards your own gender.
  18. Negative friends/influences. Time to do a clean out!
  19. Pretending to be someone you’re not – this is easier said than done, but it’s a lot more refreshing to be yourself, even if people hate you for it.
  20. Last but not least, let’s stop ignoring those people we care about. Check in on your friends, your family, and make sure they’re doing ok. The people who seem the strongest are probably holding in a lot of things, so try to reach out and help them.

Why I Don't Really Set New Years Resolutions (352/365)

I remember earlier in the decade whenever December would come around I would panic and realise that every resolution I had set had been ignored and I would feel a lot of shame. I didn’t drink more water, go to the gym, go to museums or read more and even though I never announced these thoughts, I felt embarrassed. Loads of Youtubers at the time would also speak about their resolutions, and although some would be in the same position as me, others would bask in their achievements, and although I was happy for them.. this added to me embarrassment.

I would always put so much pressure on myself and it never really did anything to add to my productivity until I realised why. Resolutions are like a wish list, things you hope to do without making any active plans on how to make them, so instead I switched my thinking and set goals for the year instead, with plans on how to achieve them. I’d also keep them to myself and they would be personal goals I would want to complete by the end of the year.

The beginning of this decade was a time of great change for me, I entered College and then University so I was dealing with a lot of major life decisions and many issues that teenagers tend to deal with. Amongst all of that crap I realised something… I needed to work on my own self esteem and self image as I was in the dark place 24/7 and this was something that would take a lot of personal work. I didn’t know a lot about mental health back then, but I knew that being as sad as I was wasn’t healthy, so I focused my yearly goals around that.

I wouldn’t say I’m in the perfect mental health head space right now, but spending a good few years focusing solely on my mental health and self image has helped a lot. I went from hating myself, having no self esteem and no self belief to actually believing in myself – which is a shocker. Looking back at how I was around 2010 – 2015, I really needed help, I didn’t even believe in my own intelligence.

Back to the topic at hand..

So whenever the new year would come around I would focus on a few personal goals that I needed to achieve and make plans on how to do them. I find that the resolution mentality never has a roadmap as you say things you want to do, and then hope you’ll suddenly do them. With goals, because of the implication of the word, you kind of have to make a plan alongside it and believe me when I say it helps a lot.

So, as the new year is coming round try to make plans around your resolutions and change your mindset. Instead of having a wish list, let’s spend 2020 achieving all of our goals!

30 Days Left of This Decade.. (335/365)

Time has flown, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, running a daily blog really makes you aware of how fast the year goes by and you’re able to pin point how many days are left/have past. It’s honestly mad but I do enjoy it as well since this blog is still happening.

I was going to start a sales exposè series, but then I remembered that Sunday is the day where no one reads this blog so why waste a good introduction to a weekly series on a day that everyone is either busy or sleeping. I know first hand that I prefer to use my Sundays either having a huge pampering session or just watching something new and exciting – so an anime or a korean drama.

When December hits I feel like it’s the time where everyone starts to reflect on the year and how it has gone. If you’re someone who has set new years resolutions, then you’re reviewing whether you actually stuck to them or if you’re like me and set overall goals, it’s just looking how what steps I took to achieve them. I want to write a more detailed post about how 2019 has gone for me later on and closer to the end of this daily blogging journey as I still have 30 days left to actually think about everything – you never know that might be a post I also put effort in to.

It’s also the time where you stop seeing the sunlight and sort of embrace the darkness more, so this can effect your mental health and generally how you’re feeling, as humans need sunlight to function. We are plants, let’s just be real about it. I use that phrase as a joke to my friends effected by the darkness, but in reality we do need vitamin D to remain healthy and sunshine can make you feel happier.

I guess it’s holiday season, so that’s something people look forward to.. right? As someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas I know I don’t have to worry about buying a shit ton of presents or any of that, but the festive season does mean everythings on sale and there’s pretty lights dotted about everywhere so that’s nice to look at.

We’re going to be entering a new decade soon, so I guess there’s loads of pictures comparing how people started and ended the decade and I would like to officially say, none of you are seeing pics of me from 2009/2010.