Female Friendships Are So Important (346/365)

Sorry boys this post isn’t for you, so try not to feel too left out.

Female friendships are so bloody important in our day to day lives, both the media and many women out there really underestimate the importance of having other women in your life. It’s not even about empowerment, but about the special bond and having someone who gets you. Someone who has your back but also understands feminine struggles, let’s not even talk about periods, we all need someone who will tell us when we have lipstick on our teeth. Someone to let us know if we smell. Someone to fix our hair and keep us in check – women are honestly amazing and I really urge you to value you female friends.

I know a lot of us fell under the curse of feeling like male friendships had more value and even uttered the words ‘I just get along more with boys, they’re less drama’ – the cursed phrase.. which is a lie. Yes your male friendships are also important, but that internalised misogyny that promotes males over women by using tired outdated stereotypes are not ok and they’re also just causing you to miss out on a special bond.

Yes, some women are awful, and some men are awful. I’m not saying everyone is amazing and rainbows shoot out of their ass, I’m saying that if you find a good group of women, who aren’t assholes, you won’t regret the bond.

Sometimes I also want women around me just so I can complain about my period, and whine about the pain, the mess and just have a good moan. I do also have men that (unwillingly) deal with me talking about this topic, but they just will never get it and it’s upsetting.

So this is just a ramble to let you know, women out there, please value your friendships, especially your female friendships.

Girls,We Need To Stop Apologising For Existing (222/365)

Recently I’ve seen a Malorie Blackman quote floating around the internet on this subject, but in all honesty it’s something that has been talked about for ages and it’s something we need to keep talking about. I don’t really think this problem is too gender specific, but in my day to day life I’ve noticed this behaviour in more women than men – especially in the work place.

We apologise before asking a question

We apologise before asking for clarification

We apologise whilst walking

We apologise for literally everything and it’s getting ridiculous.

Stop saying sorry for asking questions, for demanding clarification and when you’re walking around. We are allowed to take up space, we are allowed to exist, we are allowed to live, so we need to stop apologising for it. I know in a lot of cases it’s to be polite, but there needs to be a different way to convey manners because the more you apologise for taking up space, the less likely you’ll feel like you deserve to exist.

I know it sounds crazy, but it starts off small, and then you wake up and realise that you’re feeling apologetic so much that it becomes a breeding ground for anxiety and worthlessness.

Repeat after me:

I am allowed to take up space.

Keep saying it until you generally believe it. If you catch yourself apologising for something that isn’t actually an apology – stop. I understand saying sorry when you’re admitting to a mistake, but asking a question is a mistake. Taking up space is not a mistake, and lastly, you are not a mistake.

Welcome to the end of my TED talk, I hope you’ve taken something from this.