Why Do We Joke About The Office Creep? (364/365)

This is actually a question as I don’t have an answer for this topic as it grosses me out to my inner core and I hate that I’ve witnessed how work culture allows pervesion and sexual harassment to become normalised and even joked about. If you’re not aware of what I’m talking about, let me explain it in more detail.

So in office culture there are many people out there, the quiet ones, the loud ones, the drunk ones and even the gossips, but the one I don’t understand is the creep. The creep is usually a guy from what I’ve noticed but he’s not always single (a fact that confuses me to no end). He’s never someone at an entry level position, and if you’re unfortunate sometimes he’s pretty high up. He’s known to spend more time perving on women than doing his job, he’ll look at your boobs before looking you directly in the eyes and he generally brings about an air of pure disgust.

He’ll go out with work colleagues and openly look at the newbies as prime prey and make his move on the prettiest ones, in some cases he’ll wait until they’ve had a lot to drink before going up to them and in most cases they’ll have no idea what kind of disgusting creep they’ve allowed to occupy their space. He’ll have previous instances with women in the office, and none of them will sound good to hear, he’ll use awful words to describe them and put them down whilst simultaneously looking for the next victim.

He’ll make comments about every girl, every single one.

There’s a reason he’s known as the office creep, it’s never a title handed out to an innocent falled solider. There’s always evidence and there’s always a line of people who want to hurt him for doing them wrong and yet no one actually does anything about him. It’s almost like they’re willing to allow someone who is known to sexually harass people because they’re too scared to hurt his feelings.

Most people who have been effected by him are usually in entry level roles and are too afraid to speak up, sadly HR isn’t always a department that actually do their job and in some cases they’ll also be friendly with the office creep.

I been around people gossiping about the creeps and what they’ve done, but not one of the people talking had any intention of doing anything about the guy(s) – they exchanged some awful stories as well.

So why do we allow this to become a part of working culture?

Why do we minimise the damaging effects of sexual harassment?

Why do those in power allow known creeps/predators rise to power and continue to work in their company?

This is honestly something that has confused me for a long fucking time and I’d like some answers.

The Time Me and My Friend Saved a Cat (353/365)

We have another door to door story coming up, it was a truly hectic day for everyone in our group, there were fights, threats and we saved a cat.

Now this tale will focus on the cat because all of the violence that ensued that day can not be told by me, they’re not my stories to tell, and almost every instance was fuelled by racism.. I don’t really have it in me to talk about racism with a level head at the moment due to the current state of life.

So back to the cat…

So it was a standard day of knocking doors in a nicer area, everyone was rude, and me and my friend were getting sick of everyone in the area. We completed out first lap, which takes place around 1-3pm quite quickly and spent a lot of it talking about life. As people are usually working it’s the quiet lap in most areas so usually if you’re with someone you spend a lot of it talking and generally taking the piss if you’re friends.

We met up with the group to have lunch, the day seemed to be like any other day, and for us it was pretty chill.

Our next lap had more people back from the school rush and everyone was fucking rude. Now, at this point we were used to this, but on that day we honestly could not be bothered dealing with people – it happens every now and then and it’s always good to have someone with you when it happens so you can talk things through.

We were getting to the point where we could not be bothered doing any more work and we heard something weird, it was an animal but it sounded like it was in pain. Now, we were knocking new builds so it wasn’t like we were near main roads, the area was quite compact and even maze like. Then we saw the cat, it had clearly been hit by a car and we weren’t sure of what to do, so we checked the cat and it was in a bad state.

We tried knocking near by doors of people, regardless of whether we pitched them or not because a cat was in danger – now people are dickheads and they weren’t nice to us when we re-knocked their doors up until the cat was mentioned. Luckily we managed to get a hold of the neighbour of the cat owner (who was at work), I believe from what I can remember he also had a cat, or a pet at least as he knew what to do.

The cat owner eventually came back and it was a whole ordeal. I don’t remember a lot of it, but only the fact that we were honestly worried about the cat. It sounded like it was in a lot of pain, and I don’t think it would have stood a chance if we hadn’t been on those roads knocking doors that day.

Weirdly enough things like that happen a lot when you take on a job like door to door sales, you’ll end up in situations where you help people, are able to call ambulances and really just make sure people are getting the help they need. It sounds dramatic, but a friend of mine literally had a customer have an epileptic fit in the middle of the sale, and called an ambulance for them.

So, we saved a cat, met up with our group of fellow sales people and although we wanted to tell our story proudly – everyone had ended up in some form of violent situation, or potentially violent situation. All sparked by racist comments… so the day was a bit of a mess for everyone in that area.

Stop Normalising The Idea That You Need To Be Overworked (345/365)

I honestly don’t know which capitalist normalised the idea of being overworked, stressed and depressed due to work, but we need to get rid of it and we need to do it ASAP. I’m only 26 and the amount of conversations I’ve had with friends and colleagues about how much unpaid overtime they do and how their stress is effecting their mental health and for what.. a job? I know we need a job to live and sustain ourselves but you shouldn’t be working yourself to death, and the fact that this is seen as normal really worries me.

Partly because it’s making employers expect us to do the most as a bare necessity, meaning that it’s more difficult to stand out as the expectation is being overworked. The other part that worries me is because it’s causing generations of overworked people who have poor mental health, working a job that they hate to make money to live. You spend more hours at work than you do awake at home, so if those hours are drenched in misery than sadness basically becomes the norm.

What kind of fucking world is that?

No wonder people yearn to be young again and look at their anxious youth with rose tinted glasses.

Let’s stop normalising this, not only is it really fucking with your physical and mental health, but it’s also making your life more miserable than it needs to be.

You rarely should be taking work home with you (emotionally), I know some jobs require this, but if you’re not working a job that does, then leave your thoughts and emotions at work.

You shouldn’t feel anxious or depressed when working.

You shouldn’t feel worked to the bone.

Your work shouldn’t be causing or increasing any health issues.

Life can be difficult, but it doesn’t need to be harder than it already is!

To Everyone Who Defends Their Racist Friend (324/365)

I think it’s safe to say the theme of this week is racism, and it’s inspired by pure pettiness – I wish I was a better person, but I’m really not.

Now we all have one friend who’s about a decade or two behind with everything, the ones who complain about political correctness or are still learning that oriental is an offensive term – but the thing is a lot of us don’t excuse their behaviour. Personally, if I’m becoming friends with someone I make it my job to educate them, because sometimes their backward behaviour is pure ignorance, and that can be unlearned.

There’s a difference between educating and just allowing this behaviour and the latter is what we’ll be focusing on today. I’ve seen this too much and honestly it’s disgusting because it see’s racist, sexist and xenophobic remarks as just a personality trait. Which not only excuses their discriminatory actions, but promotes it because they’ll never see anything wrong with it.

I’ve seen this happen way too much to be silent on it, groups of people just saying their friend is awkward, when in reality he has a problem with people of colour. That same ‘awkward’ person will have no issues speaking to white people, but the second anyone has any form of melanin it’s like eye contact is a myth, they start to fidget and worry about their own safety – guess what folks, that’s called racial stereotyping and is a racist way of thinking.

As an adult my main issue with this school of thought is the people they excuse are usually people in power, they’re managers and are responsible for a team of people and if you live in a major city – that team will probably have at least one person of colour. Unless the people are involved in the hiring process, then they’re just going to let their conscious and unconscious racial prejudices stop people from BME backgrounds from getting jobs.

We speak about systematic racism a lot, but people forget that these systems are made up of people, and their thoughts towards their fellow humans can either allow POC to thrive, or keep things at it is – which is difficult.

So next time your friend gets accused of racism, instead of thinking the person accusing them is probably just ‘using the race card’ (which by the way is a myth created by our oppressors to make it more difficult to call them out), maybe take into account that your friend is a product of their society, benefits from their privilege and is in fact a racist.

Do they have time to change? – of course!

They won’t change whilst you and many others excuse their fucked up actions as just a quirky personality trait.

So, My Old Work Place Found My Blog Post About Their Racism.. (323/365)

Honestly, my inital response was laughter, not only because I can trace who spread it, but because their reaction was what I expected – they sympathised with the racist, because ‘he can’t help his personality’, ‘he’s awkward’, and ‘he must have just rubbed her the wrong way’. They can’t fathom that the post came from a place of truth and not just an emotional response to a disgusting working environment. They’re also the people who allow racism to happen and flourish, hence why I’m not surprised.

In case you couldn’t tell from my title, my old work place found out about the post I wrote about some of their racist antics. I didn’t even find out until today, so I’m just writing my raw unfiltered thoughts since I did need an idea for this post, and they just handed it to me on a silver platter. There’s a reason I left that place, and it wasn’t just because I found another job, it was because the working environment was toxic and breeded sexism and racism. Many of us were the targets of it, and even more fight to keep it alive without even being aware of it.

I think the problem is, they think racism only extends to people shouting n*gger, or being overly aggressive. They don’t understand that racism is also about microaggressions, isolation and stereotyping of people of colour. It’s about how a diverse team of 60+ has only a handful of white surviviors because the man who made the decision ultimately didn’t see any of POC as viable, valuable.. hell he didn’t even see us as people, just as stereotypes that he feared.

He never spent time with any members of his team that were of ethnic minorities that could be intepreted as intimidating, he actively created a circle of people he spent time with and guess what they looked like (if you can’t guess.. then you might need some help). The whole work place kind of takes on this level of racism in all honesty, and I never really realised how bad it was until I ended up in a department where this wasn’t the case.

I won’t repeat what was in the post I’ll link it here but honestly to everyone who spread it – thanks for the views.

To everyone who judged me for it – fuck you.

To everyone who defended who I wrote about – you’re part of the problem, and you’re also racist (don’t worry I know who you are).

You can keep gossiping and saying your comments because at the end of the day, you’re just a cog in a racist system, so enjoy the benefits of that, and stop telling yourself that your black friend or partner makes you any less racist.

Companies Need To Stop Writing Fake Positive Glassdoor Reviews (318/365)

Glassdoor is probably one of my favourite websites out there purely because it has helped me with job hunting, searching for honest reviews about the company and looking at the interview process. Good souls out there will write down what the companies interview process is, what each position pays and an honest review about their experience working there. As someone who has landed in a lot of work places that are on the more negative side, the fact that websites like this exist is really helpful, and can allow you to spill the tea when you leave.

The thing is, there’s a lot of fake positive reviews out there, and it really shows how companies are trying to drown the negative reviews out of sight. Now, I understand that its only natural to want your company to be seen in a good light, especially as people might reject a job offer based on negative reviews, but by writing fake reviews, you’re damaging your credibility. Since the positives will be over the top, and the negatives will be even harsher – we all know that (most) people don’t write fake reviews about negative employment, if they’re using terms like racism and sexism – it’s because your company is racist and sexist.

Am I writing this because I’ve seen this happen in previous work places – fuck yes!

Not only have I worked in a sales office where my manager forced us to write good reviews, as the bad were really bad, but I’ve also worked in another company where we all stalked their Glassdoor page as we knew the people who wrote the bad reviews. We knew the bad reviews all came from a place of pure honesty, and then we saw a flood of positive reviews that were so good that it wasn’t believable – sometimes upper management need to learn to lie better.

At the end of the day the reason websites like Glassdoor exist is to help employee’s, not employers. It’s for people who are applying for jobs and it’s a platform that allows them to get a ‘no bullshit’ view of what they’re getting themselves into.

Try Not To Get Too Caught Up In Gossip Culture (314/365)

We all love a good gossiping session, not only does it bring people together but it’s a great way of collecting information (whatever age you are, information is power. However, gossiping a lot isn’t healthy for your mind at all, sometimes it can be a relief, to get a good rant out, but if you engage in the practice for long enough, it allows those feelings of pure negativety to just suck you in – and that’s not good at all.

It also says more about you as a person if you spend a lot of your time loving the art of gossiping. I speak about red flags a lot, but there’s a difference between spilling the tea and being vindictive, and once you learn the different it helps a lot in picking your friends and colleagues you choose to spend time with.

There is also the risk of letting a serial gossip know information about you, and if they’re engaging in this act, you can’t always trust that they’ll keep their mouths shut. Remember what I said, information is power, and that goes for power over others and yourself. So try not to give a lot of people that kind of leverage on you, I’m not assuming that you’ve been up to no good, but keep certain people at arms length. They don’t always need dirt to hold something over you, sometimes it could be a bit of information that has been warped, or them using stories about your childhood to build a negative opinion about you.

Gossip culture in general is a crazy game, especially in a professional setting, you think it’s harmless chatter until someone uses the intel they’ve gathered to work their way to the top. I honestly would think that statement was an overexageration but in my previous work place that literally was the culture, and I witnessed many people use information as power to get them ahead, and keep other peoples careers at a stand point, and that place wasn’t even corporate.

From what I’ve learned it’s best to stay out of it, or if you are weak to wanting to gossip, give people little on you. I have ways of doing that, but honestly it’s a whole blog post of it’s own, and I don’t think it’s wise for me to even write about it at length since a lot of people who read this know me personally and some even work with me. 🙂

Happy Monday – Another Filler :) (280/365)

Happy Monday! The day gets a bad reputation, it’s the beginning of the week which symbalises the start of work, school and responsibility. Monday is the loser amongst the days and I guess Friday, Saturday and Sunday are the cool kids.

Everyone get’s up on a Monday morning and audibly sighs for the next 8 hours, upset that they have left the bubble of the weekend. As much as I love to moan, it’s not always good to shit on specific days of the week.

If you’re only living for the weekend, you’re not really living at all. You’re sort of waiting for a freedom that is a myth – live for everyday, find joy in little things and you’ll somehow find a happier and healthier way of surviving. I won’t say I have all the answers, but I’m trying.

Let’s call it a work in progress.

Happy Monday 🙂

I don’t have a lot of excuses for this filler except I have ideas but not the brain capacity to articulate them – I started a new job so my brain power has been focusing on that. So naturally my blog quality was going to suffer at some point, I was able to finesse last week but this week might need one night of writing every post for a while otherwise I will fall behind.

How It Feels Knowing You’re A ‘Diversity Hire’ (215/365)

I’m always a bit scared to tell tales when it comes to my employment purely because it can lead to very bad things, and scary words like ‘redudancy’, but it’s late and I was watching Orange is the New Black and it got me thinking about how I’ve been a diversity hire before. If you don’t know what that is, it’s basically when you’re hired because you are a minority.

You’re never really told that you’re a diversity hire when it happens, you only come to realise it when you enter your workplace and see how awfully caucasian it is. Sometimes I play this game called ‘spot the ethnic’ and honestly in some places it has been a struggle to play this game.

I’m all for companies getting pressured to hire people of colour, don’t get me wrong, but the issue with being in a company that has only hired you because you tick a certain box is the lack of respect. You already have to fight a lot harder to be taken seriously and seen as credible and honestly the fight can be exhausting. You’re surrounded by people with the same abilities as you, but are seen as better purely because they’re white, or worse, a white man. I know, it sounds exagerated but this actually happens and honestly it’s annoying.

I remember first feeling a bit weird when I came to realise why I was hired – it had nothing to do with me being a strong candidiate and everything to do with the colour of my skin. I noticed the workplace I entered was very white, and a lot of people weren’t used to being around people of colour in general, let alone hearing us engage in ‘ethnic banter’. Topics like Brexit and racism are thrown to the side and you overhear a lot of ignorant conversations.

I won’t say I wasn’t greatful for the job, I definitely was, but I wish I knew what I know about navigating a workplace like this. It was all about assimilation and that was the one thing I hadn’t learnt how to do, in all honesty I’m still learning. It involves a lot of holding my tongue, and having to politely smile at racists. The things I would tell people who are in this situation is this:

  • Remember that you are valid and you can do well in the role
  • Don’t bring up issues like race, it will bite you in the ass
  • Sometimes if you don’t understand white banter, instead of asking about the joke, just smile and nod.
  • Try to stay in your own lane, especially as women. Women of colour tend to be seen as more aggressive and sassy and it isn’t worth the label.
  • In most cases it’s safer to keep your work friends as just work friends, by maintaining a distance you can avoid any awkward conversations outside of the workplace.
  • Remember that you can still shine in this role, and that you’re probably going to have to shine 10x brighter than most people.

Best Ways To Relax After A Long Day (214/365)

Adulting can get very busy and from my experience, whether it’s working a 9-5 or working 12+ hours on your feet, you need ways to wind down after a long day. I don’t care if you don’t think you have the time to do it, if you skip on winding down properly you will go crazy.. or run on fumes most of the time.

So here’s a throwback to the list post’s I did at the beginning of this blog everyday challenge, and here’s my favourite ways to wind down after a long day of adulting.

  1. Have a hot bath
  2. Watch your favourite show/movie
  3. Listen to music that makes you happy or some that makes you feel calm
  4. Write something – poetry, stories, rants, every little helps
  5. Do some extra steps in your skin care, my personal favourites include face masks.
  6. Read
  7. Take some time to disconnect from technology and just engage in some ‘me’ time
  8. If you have time, have a nap. Sometimes they help.
  9. Speak to a friend/family member you haven’t spoken to in a while
  10. Do nothing for a while
  11. Cleaning – this one’s very isolated to people who have my personality type, but cleaning helps me a lot
  12. Sing out loud
  13. Go outside